"When we wake up in the morning, we can choose to either "plug in'' to the creative source or "plug in" to a chaotic force. If you don't consciously choose this, then you will be drawn into chaos before lunch and you'll have no idea how you got there. Energy follows intention. I wake up, I take the ten minutes it takes - in the shower, putting on makeup, before I go out- to set my intentions, what I will and won't accept energy-wise. There is not one way that is the right way to do this. But if you are aligned with a creative source, then it's very hard to seduce you into destructive conversations, arguments, and reactions. Once you step into that, the unraveling begins. By the time you come home you wonder how in the world you circuits could be so fried in less than 24 hours." - Tori Amos, in Cherry Bomb, 2008.

"I want to capture the frequency. When you hear Beauty Queen, you are hearing this girl in that moment: She�s standing in that bathroom, watching those girls put on that lipstick. I don�t want us to be talking to her 15 minutes later about what she realized in that bathroom. I want her to go back to that moment in the bathroom: It�s white. It�s that funny fluorescent light. It�s that tile, with the green crud in between. It�s those old toilets with the beautiful handles. You can hear the sound of the water dripping. Time doesn�t exist in that moment. I wanted you to feel that kind of swimming, where you�re almost coming back from 15 feet under water, and you�re coming up, and you�re almost up. That�s what it�s like in that bathroom, when you�re looking and you�re realizing what�s really going on at your table. That�s what I want to catch. This is not a confident girl. You are not at acceptance level. You are in her brain, getting triggered. The little windshield wipers are going, and you�re starting to see it from the other side. [You want to bring that moment...] ...always onto the tape. Every time you hear it, that girl is in the bathroom, putting on that lipstick. Every time."
-- Tori; Musician, May 1996

Something about this quote every time I read it....

It's the dark night of my soul
And temptation's taking hold
But through the pain and the suffering
Through the heartache and trembling

I feel loved
I feel loved

As the darkness closes in
In my head I hear whispering
Questioning and beckoning
But I'm not taken in

I feel loved
I feel loved

From the depths of my emptiness
Comes a feeling of inner bliss
I feel wanted, I feel desired
I can feel my soul on fire

I feel loved
I feel loved

 I don't know why this particular pic seemed to call out for some dark, euphoric BDSM Euro-pop lyrics. But it did. Also I consider the upcoming death of picnik to be a real tragedy for our time. :(

Although I was throrougly mentally prepared for all this - nearly 39, one in five pregancies don't make it-  it hasn't stopped me feeling a nasty little monochrome cornucopia of feelings. My fault. My fault for leaving it so long. (Yeah, didn't get much of a choice in that.) Guilt.Disappointment. Abruptly being almost literally thrown around the room by dipping and twisting hormones. And I learned something about how miscarriages happen in real life too. It's not just a car crash (Singles, 1993, I'm looking at you) or, the more Gothic and Royal trip down the staircase, followed by bed rest and much gazing out of a white window while servants attend to your every need. You will get a preview of labour pains. I never, never scream for pain or discomfort but that is the closest I have come.
I was watching a cheap-o horror movie - Satan's Little Helper, I believe - when my body went, 'Pff! I can do better than this; and bestowed a gushing of blood to rival Carrie's Prom Queen crown. Another thing..despite the ambulance and lie-down-comfortably, there is nothing - nothing -that can be done to slow the process. A sedative would have been nice before the scan, but at least it wasn't cold - small mercies. A tiny heartbeat, just a flicker, but that's not enough. "95', says the technician. "Should be 115.' So...is that it then? A pamphlet saying no heavy lifting, come back on Monday and we''ll make sure it's dead and we'll check nothing's been left behind. Which makes me smile a little. If Vamper had to leave in a hurry you can bet he left some crap behind - a bean bag, the tiniest iPod in the world, and my broken heart.

And I have stolen, stolen! a gif from verucasalt123 just to make my husband laugh. I am hormonal and lachrymose so I hope she can forgive me!

Stolen from verucasalt123, If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now,(even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad. :)

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and see what your friends come up with.

*excite*

I'm running a test to see who's reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about your day that starts with the third letter of your LJ USERNAME. Only one word please. Then repost so I can leave a word for you. Don't just post a word and not copy - that's not as much fun.