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I have been neglecting you, dear LJ (calling you that could be confusing, as it's also my sister's nickname, but, eh). Partially due to logistics (spending seven weeks in  hell at my in-law's lovely and grand house in Kew, where internet usage had to be kept to a minimum because of cost, and my FIL constantly needing it and reasons.) But also because I am in a new frame-of-archetype?-reference? As in;
I am a mother now. Stops. Takes deep breath. Yes, I gave birth to an adorable baby boy on March 25th at ten minutes to one in the morning...after a fifty hour give-or-take labour. I'm not including the 'oohh, that might have been a contraction, oh, wait, it's gone' part of labour either. This was every five minutes, grabbing Nat's hand and saying "gasp..huff...are you..timing..them?" (Just to put that in perspective, the average labour is somewhere between eight and 18 hours.)
Labour of love under here...Collapse )

I was partially distracted by the guy who was sewing what seemed to be a complicated macrame pattern onto my lady parts, and the nurses who were topping up my blood like I was a champagne glass; well, I certainly felt fragile. Three months later I still haven't really been able to connect that excruciating experience with the beautiful baby boy who now lives with us. Like his namesake, it really was like an angel had chosen to fall on me. His name is Malachai, but sometimes I'll whisper to him that he's Lucky, and we're lucky too, to have him.

weddingphotoFour years ago today -almost exactly - I woke up with the weirdest feeling. Something massive was happening today, something I was actually going to have to wear stockings and heels for. I am not a morning person (not quite to the point of having a novelty t-shirt that says "I'm-up-and-dressed-what-more-do-you-want", but almost) and I had to search around my blurry consciousness for what was going on. Job interview? My birthday? Oh, that's right, my wedding. Our wedding. Nat and I are getting married today.
I'm not going to go into huge details about the day - but I can remember the nerves, the excitement, and the fact that *this is actually happening*.
We had a small civil ceremony at my in-law's lovely house, with maybe fifty guests; close friends and family. It went without a hitch (except for the literal 'hitching' I suppose) and we even managed to get the kiss right. (Yes, you do have to practice kissing in the rehearsal. One of us kept tilting our head the wrong way. Possibly me.)
My nieces/ flowergirls looked adorable (Mikayla's sequinned pink converse almost stole the show) and my nephew did manage to drop the rings, but all said and done it was amazing/ nerve-wracking/ and joyous all at once.) I was very aware that it wasn't about the day itself, but the kickstarting of a new way of living for both of us. Which is why it was a fairly short, intimate and casual affair; I wasn't going to wear a long white dress and pretend I was a virgin (at 35, that ship had long since sailed); we didn't have any formal photographs; the food was casual and buffet-served. When I hear that today the average wedding costs well into five figures, I'm kind of aghast. Wouldn't that money be better spent on a  house deposit or something? My little black semi-goth-lolita dress was $75. Apparently some women spend almost ten times that! It makes no sense to me at all.
Anyway, my point is, my life changed for the better that day. Having Nat as my side-kick/ best friend/ husband has literally saved my life. That's an option that should be availble to any couple, regardless of gender, because it kicks arse; that's why I'm so enthusiastic about legalising gay marriage. Because it's awesome.



Woah, I haven't posted in a while. I've been too busy a) gestating and b) recovering from a mid-pregnancy bout of anxiety. In theory, I'm due to have Lambaby in three days time. But now I'm looking at percentages, and as everyone knows, 'due dates' are no more than educated guesses and the reality is that you have a four-week window (37 to 41 weeks) for a normal birth.
BUT THIS WAITING IS KILLING ME. The fatigue is probably the worst part, but there's also that weird twilight-zone feeling of 'something huge is happening...sometime.' It's not like starting a new job or getting married - equally life-changing events - because it's totally unplannable. Will it happen tomorrow? Will it drag on to March 27, meaning the doctors will want to induce me? Will it start when I walk down the street to get some lunch today?
I have some nice qualities - but I'm also a double Aries, so patience is not one of them. Trying a few anecdotal things hasn't been sucessful (eg spicy food, sex, walking, raspberry leaf tea.) How do other women deal with this, I wonder? I keep hoping for a burst of 'nesting' ie wanting to do housework, but this is just a pregnancy, not a miracle. I have 'edited' my makeup drawers and managed to get rid of about a third of it. (To give you an idea how long it is since I've done this, there were some matte brown Poppy lipsticks in there, and a few pencils I owned before I moved to Melbourne over ten years ago.)
So. Waiting. And I'm fairly sure I'm not going to be the only woman in *ever* to never actually give birth and have an 18-year-old subcutaneous conjoined twin becuase that would make driving lessons really difficult.

(Added pic of Tori Amos making it look all blissful.)
Here's one specifically for ash48;samanthor
Bring on the SamanThor hair. We rejoice! ;)

too hot for facebook wincest

One day this will be canon. Please?


(To be sung to the tune of "Oh Sookie", obviously.)2013mishaemail


Setlist Archive

I can't believe this was sixteen years ago. "I'm On Fire" and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" were amazing.
December 10, 1994
Festival Theatre
Adelaide, Australia

I'm On Fire
The Waitress
Precious Things
Me and a Gun

Encore 1:
Cornflake Girl
Silent All These Years

Encore 2:
American Pie/Smells Like Teen Spirit
Baker Baker
One for ash48....padahair


"When we wake up in the morning, we can choose to either "plug in'' to the creative source or "plug in" to a chaotic force. If you don't consciously choose this, then you will be drawn into chaos before lunch and you'll have no idea how you got there. Energy follows intention. I wake up, I take the ten minutes it takes - in the shower, putting on makeup, before I go out- to set my intentions, what I will and won't accept energy-wise. There is not one way that is the right way to do this. But if you are aligned with a creative source, then it's very hard to seduce you into destructive conversations, arguments, and reactions. Once you step into that, the unraveling begins. By the time you come home you wonder how in the world you circuits could be so fried in less than 24 hours." - Tori Amos, in Cherry Bomb, 2008.


bloody murder

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